On Parenting Young Adults

The most difficult aspect of deciding to relocate was not living near my three young adult children. I mean, we're not talking moving across town or on the other side of the state. We're talking moving from one corner of the country to another, 3,543 miles away!

It's not like I saw them everyday or even talked to them on the phone as often as some parents do. There is just a certain comfort in knowing you can get to them when you need to and visa versa. And in the aftermath of their dad's moving out just a few short years before, we'd become closer--took care of each other and, together, tried to make sense of the new household order. There was some hardship in the process, but we got through it. What I choose to focus on is the joy that we also found and the increased self reliance that resulted.

By the time I left, each was living on their own and pursuing their own vocations or educational interests. My decision to leave forced them to make choices about what they would do next, especially the two who were living with me. With the clock ticking during the six months preceding my move, each pursued endeavors that were ultimately traumatic and that they have since abandoned. Did they rush into their choices just to have someplace to go, something to do? Maybe. The silver lining is that each has done more growing up in the process.

Having lived apart for a year and a half now, I was reminded of my relocation dilemma recently when my two daughters came for a post holiday visit. I enjoyed my time with them so much! How different it is to experience them as young adults. I found that my move didn't hamper their development or our relationship. I marvel at the people they have become and as I stand back in wonderment watching the fruit of my labor (literally) I am proud and so hopeful for the future as they continue to find their way. And for now, at least, I am at peace.